Guy meets girl. Courtship was a complicated business for the more privileged members of society in England during that time. Even the actual marriage proposal was sometimes done in the presence of others. The author goes on to give a lengthy example of a wealthy old widower who, upon attempting to arrange the marriage of his heir, was so bewitched by his future daughter-in-law that he offered for her himself. I like the idea of the Regency period a whole lot more than the reality. Of course, the same rules did not apply to women and things were a lot harder for them. Even the smallest infringement could result in a ruined reputation and during that time, when honor and good name where exceedingly important, that was the equivalent of kissing one’s chances at a comfortable and respectable future goodbye. As the author reports: “...whilst old grandam, finding her money wasted, and herself despised, is filled with those resentments that jealousy, envy, and neglected love produce; wishing and hoping each day to see him in his grave, though she has almost both feet in her own. Witness to the marriage may prove to be related to the bride and groom. Despite what you might think or what you may have read in regency romance books, divorce was not a known concept back then and annulment and separations were hard to obtain, even for those with the power and wealth to petition for them. Excellent coverage of the subject. I know a great deal of English history which encompasses that of the Regency period and what you write is true! By the time the Prince Regent rose to power, the notion of marrying for love had already started gaining ground in people’s minds as opposed to previous years when marriages were almost exclusively political and resembled business deals more than actual marriages. I’d already decided that I didn’t care for the process. In most cases, he writes, the wife will allow him nothing more than “pocket expenses,” but for that small sum, the young husband is “bound to do the basest drudgery.” In the rare event the wife is generous with her money, the author warns: “But if he meet with money (which was the only motive of the match, her gold being the greatest cordial at the wedding feast,) he may likely squander it profusely away in rioting amongst his whores, hoping, ere long, his antiquated wife will take a voyage to another world, and leave him to his liberty...”. Rejoice modern-day daters! Here can be no increase, unless of gold, which oftentimes the old bag (for who can call her better, that marries a young boy to satisfy her lecherous itch, when she is just tumbling into the grave,) conveys away, before marriage, to her own relations, and leaves the expectant cox comb nothing but repentance for his portion.”. . With the help of her servants, the young woman strangled her husband in his bed. What a great article! This post orginally appeared on mimimatthews.com and has been reprinted with permission. This notion has been greatly cultivated by Hollywood movies that tend to present things through rose tinted glasses, depicting situations and the subsequent reactions that only show a fraction of the truth, if any. Even in the 1950s people where noting that it was impossible to really know anyone if all you could do is meet at church socials and dances. . lol Glad we have it better and hope it continues. I can’t see how people could get to know one another well enough to spend the rest of their lives together with all the restrictions they were under. Thanks for the insight. Thanks for the information. However, a marriage could be annulled if the husband were to be found impotent or unable to consummate the marriage. He begins by writing: “When greedy parents, for the sake of riches, will match a daughter that is scarcely seventeen, to an old miser that is above threescore; can anyone imagine that such a conjunction can ever yield satisfaction, where the inclinations are as opposite as the months of June and January.”. When not writing historical non-fiction, Mimi authors exquisitely proper historical romance novels. When Anybody Who Was ANYBODY Had A Pet Parrot, Here's What Victorian Women Wore To Wear Tennis. Remarkable! As the author relates: “Then she became impatient for her husband’s death, and now thought every day an age to live with him, and therefore sought opportunity to cut off that thread of life which she was of opinion nature lengthened out too long...”. Courting was a public affair and any new and aspiring couple was sure to spend a considerable amount of time under society’s scrutiny. Marriage in the mid-1800s was complex. Sometimes they are the only indication that a couple legally married. The social stigma following such a situation was more than enough to keep people, especially those of prominent social standing, from even entertaining the thought of requesting an annulment, choosing instead to remain in wedlock, as miserable and childless as that was. To learn more, please visit www.MimiMatthews.com. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. Marriage contacts were very popular and mandatory, playing a very important part in arranging the distribution of wealth and property, but also in solidifying what would happen to the wife and offspring should something befall the husband. If she accepts, they end up for drinks or for a bite or watching a movie. More often than not, these depictions take place in the Georgian Era, including the Regency period. This database is presented index only, with a link to the digitized page on Newspapers.com™. In the 19th century Britain women were expected to marry and have children. I stated in my comment that I married without my parents consent further, I was under the age of majority at the time which was age 21. Of course, such a thing had to be declared by a licensed doctor and most people were not willing to admit to subject themselves to such an examination, choosing to stay silent about it. The login page will open in a new tab. In the early 1800s, there were certain manners and customs in courtship, which were vital for young ladies and gentlemen to obey if they were to be accepted as potential participants within high society’s marriage … The American Divorce Colonies of the 1800’s By Shannon Quinn. , Hard time of women. In the early 1800s, there were certain manners and customs in courtship, which were vital for young ladies and gentlemen to obey if they were to be accepted as potential participants within high society’s marriage market. Here's What Victorian Women Wore To Wear Tennis. Dating – or courting as it was called- in the Regency Era was a very important affair governed by a whole bunch of strict rules. What we now know as one of the most pleasant and fulfilling parts of human interaction was so heavily dictated by societal rules, that it probably lost much of its charm. Guy asks girl out. According to the author, an age gap this large can bring nothing but misery. Updates: Before engagement, couples couldn’t be found walking or speaking privately without the presence of a chaperone.
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